It has been three months now since we said goodbye to Ve. I still think about him every single day. He was such a big part of my life that everything I do is a constant reminder that he's gone. There are so many things about him that I miss. But I can't regret the choice that we made. Since he's been gone I have slowly seen the other dogs come back to life. Fizz running through the house with a toy, something she hasn't done in years. Cassie attacking my pants when she gets excited. Rain blossoming and forming such wonderful relationships with the other dogs. Being able to have chew toys lying about everywhere and watching them all share. Cassie and Rain licking peanut butter out of the same toy. Cassie eating properly. The list goes on. The whole house, dog and human were suppressing our behaviour for Ve's sake. We tiptoed around constantly, modifying even day to day things to try and prevent Veto from needing to react. The other dogs modified their behavior to protect themselves. When I think about it Ve was not dissimilar to an abusive partner. He controlled everyone else's behaviour by physical violence. If it wasn't physical there was always the threat of physical violence if the other dog did not stop doing what they were doing or give him what he wanted. It was a horrible way for all of us to live. Including Ve. I can't imagine what demon's were in his head to make him feel like he needed to do that. Home was where he should have felt safest.
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| Out on the river |
But it is time to put what happened behind us and start a new chapter. Nothing will ever change how much we loved him. But now we have a chance to remember what it should be like with everyone co-existing peacefully and living a life where they are safe. It has been good for me to take a step away from agility and remember how many other things we can enjoy with our dogs. Rain and I have been spending a lot of time relationship building while finding new fun things to do. We've been out stand up paddle boarding, going down the beach, visiting friends, going to cafes, doing some scent work classes, going on puppy play dates and just basically having fun. Just like her registered name "Here Comes the Sun" Rain seems to bring a smile to everyone's face. She has the most endearing, happy, loving temperament and I feel like I've hit the jackpot. Not only is she a joy to have around, she has allowed me to recover some of my confidence. When things go wrong with your dog it is so easy to blame yourself and feel like a total failure. It is very hard not to believe that you've caused their issues and your a bad dog trainer. Having a dog like Rain is a reminder of just how important temperament is and that you can't always overcome genetics. Rain makes me feel good no matter what I do with her because she just wants to do whatever you are doing.
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| 8 months |
Rain is eight months old now and is a rather tall girl at 52cms. She is built like a brick shithouse so being on the tall side is much better than being short and stocky. Its taken her ages to become good at the body awareness exercises, I'm assuming because there is just so much of her for her to learn to use. I take her to physio every few weeks to make sure that she is developing properly and that I'm doing the right exercises for what she needs. We are taking things slowly and just mucking around with different skills and enjoying foundations. I could even see myself doing some obedience with her because she just loves training, no matter what you are doing with her. Doing the scent work class with her was a real eye opener. She just loved it and I couldn't believe how quickly she picked it up. It's definitely something we want to do more of.
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Scream - Rain's Dad
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| Dart - Rain's Mum |
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| Murphy - Rain's great, great, great Grandfather |
